In other news...
Humour and sensationalism can never be substitutes for good writing. This truth was reiterated recently in two pieces on cricket in Rediff.

While Sriram Ranganathan thought that mocking at Australia by calling them whatever he feels like after one test defeat will earn him good audience, Salil Kumar chose the less-sensational path of reminding us all that at the end of the day cricket is just a game.

The latter's writing is worth reflecting upon for it lends a sense of balance while the former's writing reminds me of what Rajaji once reportedly commented about a fellow speaker -

"..(his speech was) a diarrhoea of words and a constipation of thoughts!"

Full of senseless criticism and personal attacks, most parts of the article can be dismissed as sheer rubbish. I hope not many future writers would get inspired by this kind of writing style.

Thankfully, rediff had a disclaimer at the end of the article. So much, for guest writers!

Rumsfeld's tough-talking recognized..
So it is not just me..

I talked a bit about the special skills that US Defense secretary Donald Rumsfeld possessed when it comes to public speaking!

And I thought it would go unnoticed - but no!

Somebody has recognized it and given him an award.

Other recipients of the awards include California governor elect Arnold Schwarzenegger! :-)

Macgill on Sachin..
Dear Mr. Macgill,
Now that you have said this, you should better check on what another spinner from your land has to say about Sachin.

And while you do that, bear in mind -
1. It is quite a debate the world over on whether Shane Warne is *the best spinner ever* in cricketing history.
1a. I have not heard anything even remotely close to that about one Mr. Stuart Macgill. Rather, I am mostly left wondering what Channel Nine commentators get out of hyping Macgill up - inspite of having seen someone like Warne. Maybe they have a flair for advertisement!
2. Shane Warne has played(bowled to) Sachin Tendulkar in 11 test matches spanning over 4 seasons. The whole world watched the clash and the results are well known. Not to say anything about the one-day clashes in Sharjah!
2a. Stuart Macgill made it to the India Tour once and played ONE tour game. Maybe the Australian think tank thought he was too good a talent to waste on Sachin Tendulkar in Test Matches.

So, I do know all of the above facts. And knowing all this, you know what I think about your recent talk.

If you had said all that you have said after returning figures atleast as good as those of Warne's against Tendulkar, I would have let it go!

Trivia..
Let me play quiz master for a bit.. Here is a trivia that I came across recently.. And I have tried to rephrase it to make it sound difficult..

As a result of which, the question might sound really awkward.. :-)

In the topic of National Anthems, India has something in common with one other country. And this common thing is enjoyed by only these two countries. What am I talking about?

Inimitable Vir Sanghvi on Jayalalitha..
Read Vir Sanghvi on Jayalalitha's latest "arrest-all-press-so-no-one-writes-about-you" drama..

I would like to quote two portions.. ,

Quote 1
"...(During an interview) Her view of herself was as a victim; her view of the world was that it was her enemy; and her way of coping was to keep fighting the world because otherwise it would victimise her again.

Ever since her comeback began, she has behaved almost exactly as I feared. "

Quote 2
..Can India really afford a deeply disturbed person as chief minister of one of its most important states? Or is it time that we all put our heads together and found her a nice room in a comfortable sanatorium somewhere?..

Cheer Indian Hockey..
The Indian Hockey team seems to be doing well.. Cheer them so they can regain lost glory..

Poor guys - they dont get much attention amidst all the hype and hoopla over an overrated underperforming national cricket team..

Ponder this..
Even though I haven't given much thought, I figure that it is good entertainment to think about this

Expect to have some fun atleast, before the answer gets published in a couple of days.. :-)

Walking Lakshmi through the Ghost House..
I should say I did not expect to have much fun when I thought about the prospect of visiting Universal Studios at Hollywood for a second time within a year.

But when I had to literally drag a screaming Lakshmi into a ride called "Mummy Returns" with all my strength, I kinda knew that I was in for a surprise!

The ride is nothing but a typical Haunted-House setting with all paraphernalia required for scaring the hell out of weak hearts. Skeleton heads bump on you, ghosts come and touch you, vague human-like figures move around you, little ghosts run towards you and all the other works. You are supposed to walk through all these settings. And you are bound to hear quite a few screams whenever you go for this ride at Universal.

This time too, it wasn't very different. Only that Lakshmi was screaming all the way through! :-)

Atleast twice during the start of the ride, she decided to walk back off. But once I made her cross a few hurdles, she dropped the idea of backing off. Probably she did not fancy the idea of going back through what she had crossed already!

So then, she is walking along with me, screaming at the top of her voice almost without interruption at all the fancy scare-work that they had put up (and I believe she had her eyes closed too..) when this 8-foot ghost-figure comes and touches her shoulder. She screamed - I screamed - and then I did not hear much of her. I turn around after a few steps to find that Lakshmi is no longer with me but is running backwards and tripping on a few people - and scaring the hell out of them in turn - for they dont know which one is the ghost now - and they are all screaming too! I slowly gather myself up amidst all this confusion and walk back to see whats happening. It was all dark and there were atleast two people trying to help Lakshmi get up.

As I was walking across, an old lady (herself scared to death during all this) told me in a dry voice "You better take care of her!"

We did manage to complete the ride without any serious ado after that(well, it really couldn't get seriouser than that).

And we were outside on the roads of Universal Theme Park when I noticed that a few less-than-five-year-olds were crying outside after the ride.

Lakshmi was crying too.. Well, almost.. :-)

A Tip..
The trick to save the self from the evil traps set by flattery is to construct the person that we think we are, make a conscious effort to always remember him and not blur his personality with others' descriptions.

Women..

Comment from an American Woman Colleague of mine..

"The natural inclination of women all over the world is to control everything"

:-)

Hail India..
Celebrate India's 56th Independence day with words from Arun Shourie!

Am eagerly waiting the second part of the article..

:-)

Two Eggs..
So I was given two eggs when I visited this 100 floor building.. And the one who hand-delivered the eggs to me had time to explain to me that both the eggs were identical.. And they will break when dropped from a particular floor in the building and all the floors above.. When dropped from any floor below that particular floor, the eggs wont break when dropped..

My job was to find out from what floor will the eggs start breaking.. And I had to do that in a minimum number of attempts.. By 'attempt' I mean a drop of one egg..

I was given the freedom to break both eggs in the process.. Provided I give him the answer.. In the minimum number of steps..

I seem to have a method.. But want to check out if someone has a better one..

Coke, Pepsi and Pesticides..
Here is a report that talks about a survey conducted recently on the pesticide content in popular drinks sold in India. Most popular drinks have tested with content levels far higher than what is considered "safe" in western countries. The side effects listed does make it look scary.

Interestingly, Times of India reports that the reason for this could just be that the water used by these industries are not regulated by any clear norms by the Indian Government. The bottled water industry supposedly has stricter regulatory requirements as compared to these soft drinks.

Important to note that the levels of toxic pesticides in these same soft drinks sold in USA and Europe are well within the safety limits. Now does this mean that Coke and Pepsi have standards tests in these countries(as part of their production process?) to check for pesticide levels but dont have them in India - just because the govt. does not have a regulation and these tests might mean extra cost to the company?

This point leads me to this article wherein Swaminathan points out to a retailer(Carrefour) who has successfully adopted western standards in Indonesia and which inturn has helped improving the overall standard of food produce sold in that country. But the scenario we have now with Coke and Pepsi in India probably just shows that MNCs don't always do that. They are ready to bend their standards according to the regulatory rules in the country they operate if that makes business sense!

0 + 1 = 0..
Okay, so what is the problem with the comment counts at my blog (and a few others).

Can someone throw light?

To History's Refuge..
I guess Tony Blair doesn't want to be smart..

Why else would he really say History will forgive?

Pressure does these things to you, maybe..

Before you forget..
Just a reminder..

A war did happen couple of months back..
A few reasons were given for that by the people who waged..
A regime was indeed overthrown..

And a few people do talk about it even now..

Do you all remember? Do you have something to say on this still? Or is it old wine? Is it out of fashion to talk about it anymore?

Or are we going to stand by the modern paradigm - "Victory changes everything"?

Let me know..

I guess I need all the luck you could wish me! :-)

The Last Laugh..
From what I see on TV, US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has an eye for humour. He has shown himself to be someone adept in coming up regularly with carefully constructed tautologies, beautiful contradictions and amazing absurdities.

The latest from him beats all his previous ones for the simple reason that it has the "last-laugh" ring to it.

As some people find it ultra-fashionable to call these days, Victory changes everything. Whatever it changes or doesn't change, it does give the victors a chance to have the proverbial "last-laugh". Now they can say whatever they feel like, not thinking about criticism of any sort.

Rumsfeld yesterday announced, with his usual wry smile on his face, that he never believed that American troops could find the WMDs! He said, never ever, did he think or say that the troops could find what the UN inspectors could not.

There was silence in the press room. Well, if you thought someone was going to jump up and say, "Holy Heavens, that was what we were telling you all the time, Mr Rumsfeld!" - wait! He had an add-on to his statement.

He said the troops' job was not to locate the WMDs but rather to locate those Iraqis who knew where the WMDs were!

One sure way of solving a problem, is to eliminate the problem. Say that the problem does not exist. Rumsfeld is playing a prolonged variation of the same game. Shifting the target. Keep a target and if looks like you wont get there, say that, that wasn't my target in the first place, and continue as things come along.

As a wonderful next step in this gambit, let me suggest this to Mr Rumsfeld -

"As you all know, the aim was never to locate the WMDs, but rather to locate the Iraqis who knew where the WMDs were. Our war time intelligence reports tell us now, that all the Iraqis who actually knew that, have died in the War!"

Check-Mate!

"Oh, how unfortunate for you, Mr Secretary!!", let us all reply, nodding our acknowledgement!

-Untitled-
If you think somebody is being unfair to you, just let them be..
For one of these days, they will get bored of being unfair, and start being fair to you, just for the heck of it..

:-)

That One Talent!

When I consider how my light is spent,
Ere half my days, in this dark world and wide,
And that one Talent which is death to hide,
Lodg'd with me useless, though my Soul more bent..
...
John Milton, On his Blindness


GH Hardy, in his book "A Mathematician's Apology" argues about how the "gifted" people of this world, once they realize that they have a "gift" or "talent" should pursue it and achieve whatever they can in their lifetime. To quote,

"If a man has any genuine talent, he should be ready to make almost any sacrifice in order to cultivate it to the full."

He presents his case in a safe manner, telling us that the majority of people cannot do anything specifically well. So this is not applicable to them. But for those who clearly have a gift, Hardy urges them to pursue it to their best.

Only economic necessity and age, according to Hardy, are plausible excuses for not pursuing something that one can do exceptionally well. He has pretty harsh words for those who miss out.

"... (it) would be silly if he surrendered any decent opportunity of exercising his one talent in order to do undistinguished work in other fields. "

I have met a lot of people with little talents doing what Hardy calls "undistinguished work". Ask me, I would say in most cases, it is indecisiveness more than anything else that makes them do what they do and not pursue their talent.

It takes a bit of courage probably, for the sheep to not follow the herd. And the sheep doesn't have it. :(

Agree to Disagree - The Conflict Equilibria..
Realization dawned, finally!

Looks like conflict, disagreement, argument, debate and if I exaggerate a bit, War, are all part of an equilibirium. Trying to achieve everlasting peace or trying to get an everlasting consensus on any matter should be a really challenging task simply because we are trying to disturb an equilibirium(which has always proved to be tough). And worse still, is maintaining that consensus over a period of time!

If I had known this a year ago, I wouldn't have probably allowed an argument on Gandhi get nasty. I was primarily responsible for that!

A couple of months ago, I wouldn't have demanded to know who is fair and who is not in this War on Iraq.

I am really disappointed with myself, for I failed to recognize this simple equilibirium. Or maybe that I did know that it existed - but just that I kept forgetting it in the heat of argument. Passion seems to be the main culprit! :(

Whatever it might be, better late than never. Now, I can peacefully participate in all arguments with a mentality to retain this equilibirium. Because consensus is an "excited state" and even if it is attainable, it will take a lot of energy to retain it in that state.

Not that I don't want challenge - just that I have realized a fundamental truth!

Exaggeration..
'Tis a rule of manners to avoid exaggeration. - RW Emerson

You can call this an ego-post! But even though it is about me, I would like to assume that I am addressing a generic behaviour rather than a personal attribute!

I have been (and am) accused by many of my friends for committing the sin of 'exaggeration'. And so I am going to dwell on this subject a bit here. In a way, this place has been nice to me, because it gives me freedom to drive home my arguments without counter-argument disturbances, until atleast the time when the comments start trickling in! :-)

Of late, people have tended to call my exaggerations - 'lies' sometimes. They have accused me of bending 'facts'. And I thought it was time for me to appeal to my audience (whoever that might be!) and make a case for myself. Put forward an apology, so to speak!

At the outset, let me tell you that I exaggerate naturally. I don't do it knowingly - but it has been a part of my natural communication. I assume this aspect of my communication never came to me from anywhere, but was part of me, always. And that is one reason why I took time to think about it and this post is a result of my pondering.

One justification for my exaggeration is simple - I am honest! Both towards the subject and the listener. And that is precisely why I exaggerate, inspite of whatever Emerson has to say about it!

When I see a beautiful painting, or travel through great piece of scenery, or hear a pure form of music, or watch a great sportsman perform, or read stimulating poetry, or listen to a great man speak great thoughts - I am enthralled.

And when I have to communicate the same to someone else, honesty forces me to make him feel the same way I felt when I experienced whatever I experienced. The listener has not experienced it and is getting second-hand information. I consider it my duty to transport him into the situation that I was in. What do I do? I exaggerate!

I am the reporter - and the reporter cannot be the artist. And since the reporter cannot reproduce the work of an artist - all he can do is take the help of adjectives and report it in an exaggerated fashion. That for me, justifies the job of the reporter!

Careful readers might point out that this argument, that I have put forth for appreciation, might not hold good for denunciation. Denunciation - in most cases - might be personal and if I carry the same principle to it, it might look unfair toward the subject.

I would have to agree with them. The reasons for exaggeration here, are more subtle than what has been put forward above. I do have them - but as thoughts, not as words as yet.

And posting them in here requires not just words, but carefully constructed sentences. So you might have to wait, if you care...

Figure and Ground..
The following piece of information reached me again, today.

The Yuki tribe in Northern California have a number system that has a base 8. The reason for this, is that they count 8 with the fingers of their hands. That is, they dont count the fingers - but the spaces between fingers.

This was a fascinating piece of information for me, when I first came to know about it. And I am just typing out whatever I know - as related to this concept or principle or whatever you might call it.

Some pictures of MC Escher have the same element in them. A beautiful piece of "mathematical art" wherein he conveyed one meaning in the foreground and one in the background. And importantly - both meanings distinct from each other.

Escher had mastered this art. You can see the same principle in many of his paintings. For more on Escher, you can go here.

We can see this element in many other art forms.

Theater or Drama, for example. How many times have we seen a one-sided telephonic conversation on the screen wherein the audience, ideally, should be left to assume and interpret what is happening at the other end. In Indian movies, mostly the audience is abused, by the speaker repeating whatever the other end speaks. However, if the artist wants to be cryptic, he can just leave it as one-sided and we have another example of figure and ground! The ground isn't visible readily, but is left for interpretation.

There is a discussion about how this same concept arises in the music of Bach in the book Godel, Escher, Bach by Douglas Hofstadter. In fact, most of what I have written here is inspired by what I read in that book.

Hofstadter goes on to extend this same concept to explain Kurt Godel's theorem on the Incompleteness of Axiomatic systems. I can't write much about it because of the obvious lack of insight or understanding I have on the mathematical part of it. All I could do here was to jot down whatever I knew or could relate to from what I read!

Thanks for the attention.

Mr. Swaminathan, it is Sunday again!
I have been reading Swaminathan Aiyar on and off for some time now. What he has said here has forced me to write about the way he approaches this war issue.

Just because he is not worried about calling himself a cynic, does not mean he is not one. If you read the above article, you will understand how he has successfully evaded delivering an opinion on a critical issue just by sticking some mathematical and historical arguments together!

There isn't much you can dispute or argue about in the whole article. It is just his way of saying 'a table is a table'. You can't really deny anything. But when you think from the "why" angle of it - that is "why did he actually say all this"? - the best reason you would probably come up with is that "It was a Sunday"! Come every Sunday, he has to write one article. And this time, it happens to be this!

Let me take a vote here! Who doesn't know about Darwin's "Survival of fittest"? If you raise in "Me!" to the above question, then you have hell a lot to learn from that article of Swaminathan Aiyar.

So he goes..
"A victory will doubtless unearth evidence of Iraqi biological or chemical weapons, and ridicule will be heaped on Hans Blix, France, Germany and the UN Security Council. The new regime in Iraq will condemn Saddam as a mass murderer, and the world will nod agreement."

So does he feel that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? Does he have an opinion on whether Iraq possesses those weapons actually matters? Before we think along these lines, the next lines follow..

...if the war goes badly for Bush, moral attitudes will be very different. Suppose thousands of US soldiers and Iraqi civilians are killed, and that terrorist reprisals on US cities with biological weapons kill thousands more. I suspect the US public will turn against Bush, and blame him for unwarranted deaths in an unwarranted military adventure..

Duh! Okay, so what's your point?

This is more and more Aristotle syllogism! When I start out in the morning for a long walk, I always know the following..

"It will rain or it will not rain"..

I think you need to tell something more if you think you deserve to get published!

THE FINAL!
It is time for the final!

Here are some random tips that I have in mind for the Indian Team. The captain needs to decide on all of these and the best thing I could do to pass it on to him, was to publish it here..

* Play Parthiv Patel!
* If you win the toss, bat first!
* Play Dravid at number three; Ganguly at number five;
* Tell Sehwag to play natural in this one game. Take the pressure off him!
* Beware of Andy Bichel!
* Convince Srinath to go round the wickets to Gilchrist - first ball, every ball!

Thats all I have for the captain.

And I am really not surprised that three of my four predictions for the cup have failed, outright! I have never been good at it, for that matter! :-)

Logic for semifinal clash..
A friend of mine today questioned the logic for semifinal clashes in tournaments. Usually, if the semifinalists stand 1,2,3,4 on the points table, 1 vs 4 and 2 vs 3. He questioned this saying that this takes the fun out of one of the clashes in the semifinal. Even though 2 vs 3 will be a good contest (speaking in expected terms), 1 vs 4, in all probabilities will be one-sided.

He said if you wanted to make sure 1 should get to the finals - you could very well not have semifinals and have finals - straight between 1 and 2. Whats the point in having a semifinal and taking the fun out of one game, he argued.

He said, for better contests - 1 vs 2, 3 vs 4 is ideal. But because this will eliminate a better team one stage before, we should avoid that and have 1 vs 3 and 2 vs 4, instead.

I did give him a convincing argument against his format and he finally accepted to the current format. And the explanation I gave was simple enough, I thought.

But just want to know if there are other thoughts.. What do you think?

For the records, I am totally unaware of any mathematical facts involving tournaments, when I say all this.. So if you give me any, I will blindly accept.. (after considerable thought! :-)

Bhagwan..
I hear thats what they call Sachin in the Indian Camp these days..

Bhagwan..

Apt title, I would say... Cricket writers have tried many adjectives.. And were found wanting.. This one's simple.. And complete..

If there is one thing that opposing bowlers have to learn - it is that when you take Sachin on, you do that first and then talk about it..

Whoever has gone to press before the actual battle have suffered..

Caddick said he is going to test Sachin with bouncers.. He bowled once.. Four runs resulted.. He tried another.. The ball was thrown out of Kingsmead, Durban.. He didnt try any more..

Shoaib Akthar talked to pressmen more than to his teammates, one felt.. He realized talking is different from actually confronting the Master - and he did that in ONE OVER!

I am a major fan of Akthar too.. For pure pace.. That he finally did take the prized wicket - however tired Sachin was at that time - is just a pointer to the quality of game we had yesterday.. Shoaib taking Sachin was good for the game.. The battle's still on..

"Throughout this campaign there has been a look in his eye, the sort detected in Viv Richards before a final. Sachin means business. A mild man, he realises the time has come to leave his mark upon cricket's most prestigious tournament."

Says Peter Roebuck. Maybe yes. Maybe he has decided that it is time for him to leave an indelible mark on the World Cup.

I would consider myself lucky if that's indeed true - for I lived and watched cricket at this time..

Waiting..
I am just preparing myself for tonight - when Sachin and Sehwag are going to be on one side and Wasim and Shoaib on the other!

For all the build up - this is THE moment of the world cup..

Hope it keeps up to all the hype.. :-)

World Cup News - I
So we spent quite some money and effort in getting the dish in place for the world cup. During all the confusion, I sometimes thought whether all this was worth it..

But now after the first match - its all different.

I could not have asked for more. Lara century, Klusener on the rampage, a nailbiting finish and a Windies victory! My predictions could all end up in a soup but I dont care as long as cricket is this entertaining!

Made my day!! Waiting for the Aussie - Pak clash!! :-)

Feeling sleepy though, so bye!

Andre.. Andre.. Andre..
On the topic of repartees and ripostes, heres what happened at the Australian Open last weekend.

Agassi reaches the podium to get the trophy after demolishing the German newbie. By now, it was no secret, that Agassi - by winning the Open, has won the bet he had earlier with Steffi. The bet was that Steffi should play the French Open mixed doubles if Agassi manages to emerge 4th time victor at Melbourne!

So Agassi did win it and along with it the bet!

During his speech at the podium, he thanked various people and finally remarked "I really dont know what more to say here"

Someone in the audience yells - "Lets talk about Steffi.."

Agassi looks over at that part of the crowd and shoots back - "Hey I dont talk about your wife, right?" (a brief pause) ".. atleast not as far as you know!"

:-)

Right and Wrong -Reloaded..
There is this common thread that never ceases to amaze me.

All beings in the universe (as far as I have seen) seem to have a sense of fairness (the sense that makes them distinguish good from bad, right from wrong).

Makes me think if all this is just a big game and the above is just one of the unwritten rules of the game - which we, as players, follow without realizing..

Predictions..
Here are some predictions for the cricket world cup that's starting soon..

* Australia will realize what it means to play a world cup without the Waughs!
* South Africa, Pakistan, India and Australia will make the semi-finals
* Pakistan will defeat India for the first time in World Cup history!
* South Africa will win the Cup!

Lets see how good I am at this..

Right and Wrong..
The following theory seems to be correct.. surprisingly...

The sense of "right" and "wrong" is absolute!

So let me accept this without much ado..

God..
The following theory should be wrong..

Uncertainity of future is the only thing that makes us assume the existence of a supernatural force (sometimes called GOD!)..
If, in the course of evolution, Man progresses to a state where he can accurately determine future, he wont need the assumption of GOD..

I need time to think and explain why this should be wrong.. And I dont seem to have that!